When you have a goodly amount of some talent, gift, substance, etc., there’s a decent chance that someone will choose to distort you. Because of the current limitations of their perception, it is entirely possible to be looked at as someone’s obstacle. The thing in-between them and what they want instead of the fullest expression of yourself. Again, this is a perception issue. This is what we are doing whenever we do the work of turning something/someone into a problem. I’m always talking about scaffolding: what’s required in the subconscious to support a particular problem with perception. Wherever we are experiencing a problem in our reality, there’s scaffolding present to be dismantled. The curious thing about scaffolding is that we can build whole worlds around it, mistaking what's intended as a temporary structure for a solid foundation. We all know that person who “hates” something and will tell everyone willing to listen about it. (I’m like that with Rome. I’m sorry if you’ve had to listen. My perception of it is “racist city.” Real issue, but definitely not the entirety of a literally ancient city. I digress and I'm going to do better.) Anyway, when you’re focused on your own “goodly amount” it’s more difficult to zoom in negatively on anyone else’s. Many people’s life strategy revolves around displacement and transference. Desires and goals they’ve absorbed, behaviors and beliefs they’ve inherited, and pain and desire they’ve transferred onto other nouns. (Nouns include people, places, and things.) We’ve all been in a conversation with someone who has a problem and has decided that you are the problem. If you’ve been rocking with me a while, you know how I feel about what I call “essential statements.” There is nothing more powerful than the “I am” because you are speaking of your essence. (And that essence is divine.) When you’re in one of those situations where someone has decided you are the problem, you have full permission to claim yourself. Make yourself available for the maximum amount of truth. If the truth is that you are indeed creating a problem, hold yourself accountable. Don’t let the truth cut you to ribbons. Use the awareness to guide you rather than wound. If the other person has completely projected their problem onto you, the steps are the very same. Use your awareness to guide rather than wound. It is tempting to dissect a person transferring their pain because it can be registered as an attack. It can feel horrible to know that you’ve been distorted. This is yet another call to claim yourself. Refuse to deny the truth of who you are. Do not accept their transference, even if it’s to “keep the peace.” After many years of “I’ll be the bad guy if that’s what’s needed,” I came to the realization that cutting away pieces of myself to appease is never what’s needed. It only leads to resentment and the prolonging of “the problem.” You truly do become a problem at that point because you have directed them away from an opportunity to go to the source of their pain. They may not take it, but that is not your business. Don’t miss your opportunities. You have a goodly number of them. Say no to displacement/transference as a strategy as often as possible. Say yes to all of you and appreciate whatever it is that you have a goodly amount of (since we all have our endowments). Whenever you are seeing a repeated problem in your reality, consider your perception. Know that if you’d like to shift it, you are responsible for taking it to the source. You have to be willing to see things differently. You are then responsible for acting differently. You can do this at any time you choose.
"Keeping the peace" was a big problem and a big lie at that, because my peace was most definitely disturbed!